Hot Pink Freak

I am so late to the party! I had seen something about this challenge float by on the Twitter feed for my co-worker, Margaret Krohn. She and I feel very similar about communities, gaming, and fostering an inclusive environment. It’s been awesome getting to know her; we don’t get to chat as much since we work in different buildings.

At any rate, I was intrigued. I went into this new blog with great intentions of posting regularly. In this, I have failed. I had a few great posts (I hope?) around PAX East last year; it is fitting that I’m kickstarting the blog again right in time for this year’s PAX East.

I’m kinda behind on the blogging, so I’ve missed getting on the sign up list for the Blogging from A-to-Z Challenge. No matter. I am still going to participate!

My “A” blog is going to be about…acceptance!

For many, it is very hard to accept things about yourself. On the outside, I accept that I am overweight. I accept that I am older than many of my peers in the gaming industry. I accept that I have a pain disorder and am not as mobile as I once was. I accept that I talk too much, and I also accept that for a good much of the time, I’m an extremely quiet person. I can be obnoxious and very rigid in my ideas of justice. I hate playing with rules lawyers, but sometimes, I am one myself. I accept that my sexiness is from within. I accept that people won’t think I’m sexy. I accept that my tattoos are off-putting to many people. I accept that I have been a big jerk to people in my life.

And that is okay. It all makes up who I am. There is no room for regrets or not accepting these things, because it means denying who you are…and that who you are is a-okay.

I meet a lot of people in gaming & geek culture who are always talking about how they’ve been afraid to accept their “geekiness” and let “their geek flag fly”. They say, “you are so comfortable with yourself.”. I teasingly say, ‘That’s because I don’t give a flying fig what people think about me.”.

Really, this is only partly true. I care deeply about what my mother thinks of me. I care very much about the opinions of my peers, friends, and loved ones.

What I am really saying is…All those people who want to tell me I’m to fat/old/stupid/ugly to be sexy/smart/caring/worthy of love? They can kiss my big fat butt. I accept my flaws. I accept my passions. I accept I may be wrong from time to time. None of this makes me less of a person or not worth love.

EVERYONE is worth love. Accept that you are weird. Accept that you are just a bit different from those around you. It’s not bad to be different. Sometimes it just takes time to figure out that the only person who truly matters is you. If you don’t love yourself, how can you expect wonderful loving people to find you?

I accept myself for who I am and I wouldn’t change it for the world.